Friday, August 26, 2011

What I'm Watching Now #8 (August 26, 2011 Edition)

I wasn't going to write one of these this week, but I sucked it up and decided to anyway.  Nothing on the schedule really blew me away, so this will probably be short and not so sweet.  If you go into this not expecting much, you won't be disappointed.  The good news, for me and you, is that hardly anyone reads this anyway.

I will probably be writing extensively on the vast amount of summer finales coming up in the next two weeks, but I have a feeling the seasons will just limp into their finales.  With all that said, let's get to what I'm watching now.

Ratings Legend:

*Don't waste your time
**Some people may like it, but overall, it's not going to change your life if you watch it or miss it.  Shows between 2 stars and 3 stars are on the line of watchable.
***Solid, watchable show.  If I give something 3 stars, I think you can safely watch it, and usually enjoy it.
****You should definitely watch this show, at least once.
*****Why are you not watching this show?

Mondays:

Alphas (Syfy, Check local listings)****
Most recent episode rating-***

I liked the episode, but it just really felt like it didn't have much of a point.  The episode was titled "Catch and Release", and featured an Alpha who had been found, but as opposed to the rest of the Alphas who were put in Binghamton (if they were dangerous), or with Dr. Rosen (if they apparently could be rehabilitated), this person was allowed to go back out on her own.  We'll call this "monster" The Inventor.  The Inventor has made some pretty insane stuff.  During the course of this, she has sold her stuff to some very bad people.  Dr. Rosen is basically sent to rescue her, but it turns out there's a lot more to the story that you'll have to watch yourself to see.

The four interesting undercurrents in the episode were Bill's wife wanting to have children, Gary's Mom trying to stop him from working for Dr. Rosen, Nina's disillusionment in regards to how The Inventor was treated, and The Inventor having a child.  One of Bill's fears in having children was what would happen with his Alpha skills, and the life The Inventor lives would presumably make it difficult to want to make that choice.  While there were lots of interesting little undercurrent things going on, the main story was kind of so-so.

While I do love this series, the ratings for Alphas are relatively low, and a series that has been on for four years, on Syfy, was basically canceled, by being told it would be given a shorter episode order for its final season.  That series has more viewers than Alphas, so I can't imagine its prospects for renewal are good.  Maybe Syfy will see the potential, and give it a second season, but I am honestly worried about the prospects of renewal for this series.

The Closer (TNT, 9pm EDT)****
Most recent episode rating-****

I'll have to make my Monday night crime block be a stretch, this week, as it was pretty hard to connect The Closer and Rizzoli & Isles.  However, I did it, so there.  This week's crime block is called "Hidden Family Monday".  

If you have seen me write about The Closer over the past several weeks, you will notice that I rag on it about not taking itself seriously.  Amazingly, we got a very serious episode, this week, that had almost no humor.  It was a good solid cop show, and not nearly as condescending, as many of the episodes are, to the audience's intelligence.  The only humor in the episode came in the form of the perp's confession.  Nothing the perp said was funny, but it was pretty hilarious how the perp just straight up confessed at the end.

Rizzoli & Isles (TNT, 10pm EDT)****
Most recent episode rating-****

This was a pretty weird episode, but it had a lot of great character interactions in it.  I'll give you a very brief set of ideas about the show, coupled with the "Hidden Family Monday" theme, and you can decide what it was all about.

A witch has been killed in Salem (I think).
A coven is discovered.
One of the coven is a priest's daughter.
The priest is creepy.
Go! 

The Big C (Showtime, 10:30pm EDT)***
Most recent episode rating-***

In this episode, Cathy is dead.  Well, everyone thinks she is, anyway.  An obituary for Cathy Tolkey has been placed in the local newspaper, and lots of goodies have been rolling in for the widower, Paul.  The only problem is that Cathy was the name Rebecca had given her unborn child.  Unfortunately, in the previous episode, Rebecca had a miscarriage.  In this episode, Rebecca wants an elaborate funeral, and seriously, it is really friggin' creepy.  Jenny Bicks wrote this episode, and I was surprised I didn't shake my fist at the screen, by the end.  Maybe it's because I just don't really care anymore.  I don't really know, but something "big" does happen by the end of the episode.  Unlike many of the other "big" things that happen in this series, I was actually glad to see this one happen.

Wednesdays:

Necessary Roughness (USA, 10pm EDT)**
Most recent episode rating-**

**YAWN** (Notice the two stars around each side of the yawn?  Those stars represent the quality of the episode)

The T.O., oops, I mean T.K. story has come to a head.  Yeah, this series basically started because of the team wanting Dr. Dani to fix T.K.  Eight episodes in, and T.K. is a mess.  Based on the promo for next week's episode, he'll get back on track.  Guess it's a good thing Dani has other clients, because she basically never made a dent in T.K., the whole basis for the show.  My wife is already making noise that she's going to continue watching this series, no matter how long it's on, so I guess I'm stuck with it, even though I could easily lose it, and not miss it, after this season.  This series is extremely likely to get renewed, so just like The Event (while much better than that), I will just be going through the motions and hope it gets good.  It has potential, but it's just doing almost nothing right in the last several episodes.

Thursdays:

Burn Notice (USA, 9pm EDT)*****
Most recent episode rating-*****

Jack Marsden is a sonofabch!  He is totally foiling the bad guys in this episode.  They get so mad.  By the end of the episode, they put it all together, and just know that Michael Westen is working with Marsden.  BAHAHAHAHAHA!  Watch, and you'll see what is so funny.

The other story had this gem of an exchange in it:

Sam (to guy he once tased, who is very very bitter about this, who just got tased and kidnapped by Fiona, while Sam was trying to apologize to him for tasing him back in the day.  He also has an ankle bracelet for house arrest that has recently been discovered in this scene):  Okay, so how about this? You help us with this computer problem, I'll call in a favor with my cop buddy, see what we can work out. 
Guy Sam once tased:  So you're saying that if I do you a favor, you'll attempt to solve the problem that you just created for me? 
Sam: So, it's a deal? 
Sam's old friend: Fine, Fine, Fine! But just to remind you, I'm sending out a come and get me signal.  My lab is probably crawling with cops.

Suits (USA, 10pm EDT)**** 
Most recent episode rating-****

Just when we thought the fake lawyer story line was over, it comes back with a vengeance.  In this case, it turns out that the firm has to fire their accountant, due to him lying about his qualifications.  It's a career ender for this guy, and there's an obvious parallel for Mike.  Harvey tells him to stop sweating, he won't get caught.  Do you know why he probably says this?  That's right, I'm willing to bet you that Harvey's past is completely fabricated, just like Mike's!

Needless to say, Mike's brilliant, just like the accountant was.  Will it be enough?  Stay tuned, I'm willing to bet something pretty big is potentially going to happen in the season finale, coming up in two weeks.

So, that was the week that nearly wasn't, or could have been done without.  I hope it was more enjoyable for you to read this than it was to watch these shows this week.  Thanks for reading. 
  

Friday, August 19, 2011

What I'm Watching Now #7 (August 19, 2011 Edition)

Has it already been another week?  Amazing how time flies, when you've got nothing to do (but wish you did).  More summer TV seasons ended this week, and this post is going to start getting pretty small until September.  Let's go ahead and get to what I'm watching now.

Ratings Legend:

*Don't waste your time
**Some people may like it, but overall, it's not going to change your life if you watch it or miss it.  Shows between 2 stars and 3 stars are on the line of watchable.
***Solid, watchable show.  If I give something 3 stars, I think you can safely watch it, and usually enjoy it.
****You should definitely watch this show, at least once.
*****Why are you not watching this show?

Mondays:

Alphas (Syfy, Check local listings)****
Most recent episode rating-***.5

I'm only giving this episode 3.5 stars because it was an exposition episode.  I may have said this in a previous edition, but it appears the sides have temporarily been drawn.  The last two episodes have been a little aberrant, in that they haven't really focused on fully fledged Alphas (August 8th episode), or on an Alpha at all (this week's episode).  Part of what's been missing from the series is why these Alphas are working together.  We don't really have much back story, on most of them, so now the makers are starting to fill that in a bit. 

In the August 8th episode, we had Rachel's weaknesses on display with the "Love" Alpha (who may not have known he/she was an Alpha).  My speculation is that Rachel was just one of Dr. Rosen's patients, and that her Alpha skills were later discovered.  It doesn't seem she used her Alpha skills in ways that would have gotten her into trouble, unlike most of the others.  I also think Gary was one of Dr. Rosen's patients, whose Alpha skills were discovered in the process of helping him deal with his autism.  To sum up, Rachel and Gary were likely just patients whose Alpha skills were discovered in therapy, while the rest of the "team" actually used their skills in bad ways, or with bad consequences.

In this week's episode, we find out what got Bill in trouble with the FBI.  Evidently, another agent made him angry, and his fight-or-flight response kicked in to the point that he broke the other agent's clavicle upon pushing him into a wall.  Early in the episode Gary is left in the minivan by Rachel, being told to stay in the car.  Unfortunately for Gary, Rachel parked illegally, and a cop comes up to the minivan and starts asking Gary questions.  Gary is not known for dealing well with people, and ends up getting arrested.  Bill comes and gets Gary out, at which time, it is discovered that Gary has seen a kidnap victim using his Alpha skills.  Bill sees this as a potential opportunity to get back into the FBI, and takes Gary along with him.  There are many screw ups along the way, and the show is basically used as a basis of explaining Bill's particular issues inside the FBI.  It's just an exposition show, for the most part, and no Alpha skills, other than our heroes', are on display.  The Bill and Gary story was a lot of fun, and it was nice to see their interactions, especially since they are now considered "partners" in this episode.  However, since there wasn't anything deeper going on (for the first time in the series), I think it deserves a little less praise than the previous episodes.  It's still an episode very worth watching.

The Closer (TNT, 9pm EDT)****
Most recent episode rating-****

Remember how I've been giving each TNT Monday night cop show block a title?  Well, this week's title is "Sex Offender Monday".  This episode is really fortunate to get the 4 star rating, because this show was really off the wall zany.  Nearly every scene had a comedic bit in it, and proves, once again, that this series just does not take itself seriously.  Maybe that's part of its charm, but I wish it would tone it down a bit. 

This week, Brenda gets a lawyer in her civil suit.  Lawyers are 'spensive, and Brenda takes every opportunity to bemoan the fact that she needs a lawyer, and has to pay a $25,000 retainer, when she feels she has done nothing wrong (she has, trust me).  Here is an example of one of the many instances that shows her contempt for what she's going through.

Gabriel: Nice dress, by the way.
Brenda: Really? Does it make me look like the Queen of England?  Cuz that's how much money you need to be a police officer these days.


She will give a ton more of those type of quips, by the time the show is over.  She even goes as far to take away her husband's newspaper and cable TV, in the name of saving money for the retainer.  Behind the scenes, her husband uses money from an inheritance to pay the retainer, but tells the lawyer that he cannot tell her where it came from.  Hijinks ensue, in regards to this, and we are left to wonder what will happen when the city actually does come through with financial help.

The case revolves around a body being found in a retaining wall that was being built without a permit.  The body belonged to that of a sex offender who lived in the neighborhood.  The case is seriously easy to figure out, but there is A LOT of fun humor along the way.  One of the more entertaining scenes was when Brenda and her husband (unknown at the time to him) go to an open house of the suspect.  She says they are Doctors, and then proceeds to snoop all around the property, giving very lame excuses for what she's doing.  Even though it was more like a slapstick comedy than a cop show, I still found the episode quite enjoyable, and gave it 4 stars.

Rizzoli & Isles (TNT, 10pm EDT)****
Most recent episode rating-****

Much like Burn Notice, this series is really hard to write about.  I generally won't be able to give you a quote, because a lot of the lines aren't particularly funny, as written.  What makes them funny is how they're performed.  All I can say about this episode is that the ultimate reason behind what is going on is related to a sexual offense committed by a character in the episode.  It took a long time to get to this conclusion (I figured it out, though), but I knew the episode would have some relation to The Closer, and gave me the title "Sex Offender Monday"

One of the nice things about this episode is that they put Isles's humor on display.  One of the reasons I like her character so much is because she is, quite often, unintentionally funny.  However, this week, she was trying to be funny, several times in wildly inappropriate situations.  The best way I can describe her humor is with the old "Too soon?" that you should be able to get, when you think about it.  When she attempts her first joke, it is sort of laughed at, and Rizzoli asks her if she just told a joke.  Isles responds to her "Only if it was funny."  The case was a relatively small part of the episode, and that's what made the show work, once again.

The Big C (Showtime, 10:30pm EDT)***
Most recent episode-***

Darlene Hunt (the creator of the series) wrote this episode.  That usually means something big happens, and will need to be handled with tenderness.  In the first season, I might have emotionally attached to the situations that happened, but I'm finding it increasingly difficult to care how the stories turn out.  This episode had a lot going on, and a lot of it revolved around a Thanksgiving dinner.  If you've seen the series, you know the implication is that this could be Cathy's last Thanksgiving, even though we're given the idea that her treatment is beginning to work.

Paul makes a bad decision, two relationships intensify, one relationship is blown up, and a huge thing happens at the end of the episode.  This episode is important to the story arc, if you've been watching all along, and shouldn't really be missed, even though it's not really anything special.

Tuesdays:

Memphis Beat (TNT, 9pm EDT)***.5
Most recent episode rating-***.5

This episode was the season finale.  I hope it's not the series finale, because the show gets pretty good ratings.  The ratings are better than Franklin & Bash, which was picked up for a second season, so I really would be shocked if this show were canceled.

This week's episode featured a Hatfield and McCoy type story line, or should I say...?  Nah, you'll have to figure out the rest, on your own.  There are lots of little funny scenes in this episode, but I have to say my favorite is when Sutton is confronted by Dwight's "girlfriend".  It is an exterior scene, and it was played for lots of laughs.

HawthoRNe (TNT, 10pm EDT)**
Most recent episode rating-*.5

A few weeks ago, I was talking about crying myself to sleep since Franklin & Bash had ended for the summer season.  I have the exact opposite reaction to HawthoRNe ending (hopefully forever).  I'll give a brief synopsis of the season finale, below, but if you are looking for more about the episode, please read the post directly below this one, about the final scene of the season finale.  I had to torture myself watching it, and writing it, so please, do me a favor, and read what I wrote.

Here's the brief synopsis of the season finale of HawthoRNe:

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (10 minutes in)
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (20 minutes in)
:Wake up:  "Isn't this supposed to be the season finale?" (30 minutes in)
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (35 minutes in)
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (40 minutes in)
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (45 minutes in)
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (50 minutes in)
BOOM! (55 minutes in)
(Credits)

Good riddance (hopefully)!!!

Wednesdays:

Necessary Roughness (USA, 10pm EDT)**
Most recent episode rating-***

Surprisingly, this episode was pretty decent.  It's been awhile since there's been a decent one.  Maybe it's because it went to a 4 story line format, as opposed to the usual two.  Maybe it was because there wasn't the relationship friction caused by the recently introduced love interest to the trainer that was going on between her and Dani.  Maybe it's because we realize that T.K. KNOWS he can't get away from Dani.  Maybe it was the goofy golf story line.  I don't know, but it seemed like one of the better episodes in the series.  Things are clearly leading down a path to the summer finale, now, and we just have to see if it builds enough dramatic tension to make it worth watching.  I have a feeling this series can get at least that right.  

As I have said, before, this series usually throws in one good nugget of a comedic line, even though that had been missing in every episode since my ratings downgrade.  Again, it was the Coach of the football team who had the line that was so quick, you may have missed it if you weren't paying attention.  I was, so here it is:

Coach:  "We're losing our crap faster than a goose on an all bran diet."

State of Georgia (ABC Family, does it really matter?)*.5
Most recent episode ratings-**

The summer finale episodes were two of the best episodes in weeks.  They were so good that I can confidently say that if you saw them, you didn't see much, and if you missed them, you didn't miss much.  I was thinking about writing a blog post about what went wrong with this series, but it's too simple to write something with substance.  

This series failed because the plots were written like Georgia and Jo were college students, and, in addition to that, the plots were just plain dumb.  Georgia is a grown woman, and Jo is a PhD candidate, if I'm not mistaken.  Maybe the writers of this series should have watched the whole series run of Friends to find out what kinds of issues people have in the transition from the college world, to the real world.  Instead, they took what should have been a very solid series, and made it nearly unwatchable.  The series was at its best when there was more than just a focus on Georgia and Jo.  The best characters on the show were Honey, Jules, and the Physics geeks.  I didn't really like the hyped up ego and hypersexuality of Georgia's character.  It just didn't really make much sense, and actually made me like the character less than I probably should have.  

Raven's so great as a comedic actor, and it's a shame she allowed this show to go where it went.  She did the best she could, but it's hard to polish a turd.  This may have sounded like an obituary for this show.  That's because if this show comes back, ABC Family is making a BIG mistake.  Expect it to be canceled, very very soon.

I will say this, though, this show could have a potentially successful spin off featuring Honey and Jules.  There's just no way it could be put on ABC Family, since it would be featuring old people.  Come on TV Land, TV One, BET, or CW.  Step up, and make that happen. ;) 

I'll even give the name of the series for free:

Honey's Jules (if you saw the season finale episode, you will see why this title is perfect.)

Thursdays:

Burn Notice (USA, 9pm EDT)*****
Most recent episode rating-*****

I can confidently say that the last two episodes in the series are my favorite episodes of all.  There were a ton of great episodes, in the last two seasons, as well, but these last two are priceless.  The cons that Michael Westen and friends do are so amazing.  It is hilarious watching them turn people against each other, and basically telling the people they are doing it to exactly what they are doing.  I think it goes to the adage of making it seem like you're lying to make people think you might be telling the truth.  This is an amazing show, and once they get all the stupid spy crap out of it, it could be one of the best P.I. type shows since The Rockford Files

Suits (USA, 9pm EDT)**** 
Most recent episode rating-****

Harvey finally meets his match, I guess.  There is a leak inside the law firm, and it's threatening to derail the class action lawsuit that the firm is working on.  A slick Boston lawyer, played by one of the leads of CHAOS (Robert Redford light, Eric Close), seems to have way too much inside information about the case.  Louis charges the associates with finding the leak.  Mike Ross drops a bunch of briefs off in Louis's office, that no one else will drop off, and inside those briefs is the "answer" to who the leak is.  

It's clear the Boston lawyer has loose ethics, and Harvey hires his own investigator to dig up dirt on what's going on.  Harvey is forced to make a decision that could ultimately make his clients win, but could make him lose part of his soul.  Tune in to one of the many repeats, in the next week, to find out what happens.

Thanks for reading. 

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

HAWTHORNE: The (Season) Finale Final Scene

Spoilers lie ahead.  Do not read further if you do not want to know what happened in this sub par season finale's (even lower than usual) final scene.

As stated above, this is only going to be about the final scene, because, and I'm not lying, it is the only "interesting" scene in the entire episode.  They only make us wait 55 minutes to find out the "shocking" turn of events.  If you want to watch the show from 48 minutes (Tom driving up to Christina's house) to the end, it can feel longer, but that scene is really only more of a MacGuffin to put Tom in the general area, for whatever reasons the Producers/Writers/Network decided.

In the scene prior to the final scene, Tom arrived at Christina's house in a Volvo SUV Crossover.  No, I'm not giving a shout out to that car, I'm just letting you know, in advance, what an important role it apparently plays at the end of the episode.  Tom knocks on the door, and proceeds to go in and pour his heart out to Christina about how he wanted to take responsibility for his part in the destruction of their marriage.  Add an L to what sheep say three times (say it out loud and you'll get it), and you will get what I thought of that scene.

After the scene is done, Tom leaves, and it goes to commercial.  Since I said that was just a MacGuffin to put Tom in the area, let's now move to the final scene.  Upon returning from commercial, Nick drives up, and gets out of his car.  Tom is on his way to his car, when he notices Nick.  They proceed to stare at each other like two cats in heat, and rip their clothes off (I'll let you determine which parts of this are real).  Once they're done with their loving embrace, Nick goes to the front door, and knocks on it.  Tom presumably puts his clothes back on and gets in his Volvo.  Christina obviously thinks that Tom has decided to stay, and goes to answer the door.  The music changes to quasi-horror score, and she opens the door to find Nick looking disheveled.

Then, in a scene that probably closely resembled the J-Lo/Anthony divorce in real life, Nick just walks into Christina's house, while she asks him if he is okay multiple times (without response), and closes the door behind himself.  It is at this point that a scared looking Christina says to Nick that his partner had been looking for him, and for Nick to call him.  Nick tells Christina to sit down, which she timidly agrees to.  Once they have sat down, Nick pulls out his gun, and places it on the table.  He asks her if she's scared of him (I'm scared of him, and I'm just an audience member).  She doesn't answer him, but looks as if she is about to cry.  He then proceeds to babble on (while pointing his gun into his chest) about how they're always in here (pointing the gun into his chest).  Not much of what he says makes any sense, other than to basically say that she owns his soul or something.  He then proceeds to say, "I'll let myself out."  He then lets himself out.  It was truly an awkward scene, and didn't really make much sense.

Christina then looks relieved, and hurriedly locks the door to her house.  About 10 seconds later, we hear a gun shot.  Christina ducks, and then after about another 5 or 10 seconds she feels it is safe to look outside.  Upon looking outside, we see the very fast image of a car driving off (with a longer sound), and see that Nick is slumped over his steering wheel.  Christina runs out to the car, and inexplicably yanks Nick out of the car and puts him on the ground, while he is bleeding from his chest.  She proceeds to apply a little bit of pressure to his wound, pulls him face up into her lap, and begins screaming for help, after which the camera zooms out into a long shot, and then goes to credits.  The only thing missing was a huge echo on her voice screaming for help.  You can bet if I did the mix for a show like this, I would have put a HUGE echo on the voice, I mean HUUUUUUUUUUUGE.

So, that's what happened as our cliffhanger for the season.  There are some things that I'd like to talk about now that I think are pretty important.  At this time, I am happy to say that I can reveal who the winner of my poll was.  Karra (my wife), correctly chose that Nick would die.  I had secretly decided that the correct answer to my poll would receive my undying love, forever, so it's a good thing for me she chose wisely.

The way the whole final scene played out was really strange.  Nick walking in and rambling on the way he was is more indicative of how a murder/suicide would go down.  Him walking out of the house, looking defeated was just weird and hollow.  But, again, what about this series is not weird and hollow?  I speculate that TNT forced a slight re-write to the last scene, since the Nick pouring his heart out scene made no sense.  Here's the basic writing of the scene, and what I think was edited out of the script.  Obviously, editing this out would mean that they would need to put a few more angles into the ending of the show.  At the end of this whole description of presumed scenarios, I will tell you which one I think is the most likely.

Dialog that appeared in the show that I can't remember, so I'll just make up my own that's kind of similar:


Nick: Mumble Mumble Mumble
Nick: We're in here (pointing gun at his heart), we'll always be in here.
Nick: Ramble Ramble Ramble
Christina looks confused
Nick: I'll let myself out.
Nick: It was always you.  It was always you.  
Christina looks confused
Nick: Always...

Dialog as originally intended, based on what I wrote above:

Nick: Mumble Mumble Mumble
Nick: We're in here (pointing gun at his heart), we'll always be in here.
Nick: Ramble Ramble Ramble
Christina looks confused
Nick: I'll let myself out. 
Nick: It was always you.  It was always you.
Christina looks confused
Nick shoots Christina
Nick: Always...
Nick shoots himself
Fade to black with long shot zooming away from Christina and Nick's faces

Yes, I am saying that with the loss of two off screen directions, the whole scene could be re-written into a rambling, mumbling mess that didn't even need to happen.  So, my feeling is that the scene was originally intended to be a murder/suicide, but ended up as nothing, because TNT hadn't made the cancellation decision.

However, as it ends up, it appears that Nick goes outside and is killed (due to the speeding off car).  However, I speculate that he actually killed himself.  The reason I say that is that he is killed by being shot in the chest.  When Christina looks outside, he is clearly slumped over the steering wheel.  The question that is simple to ask is how a man could get shot in the chest, while sitting behind the wheel of a car?  The answer is that he shot himself in the chest, as was foreshadowed in the previous portion of the scene.

However, the makers of the show decided to throw a curveball.  They decided to have a car speed off.  Now, with all of the idiotic craziness on this show, there are only about a dozen potential suspects in his "murder".  I watched this scene frame by frame, several times, and it was nearly 100 percent clear to me that the car that speeds off is a Volvo SUV Crossover, due to the unique shape of the tail lights.  Whether this was supposed to be noticed is something that will have to be determined next season, if there is a next season.

So, as you can probably determine, I think it's pretty clear cut that Nick killed himself.  Maybe Tom was going to confront him, saw Nick kill himself, and got the eff out of there.  However, maybe red ring weirdo dude did it.  I think it's a shame that they didn't do the murder/suicide, because I really don't want this show to come back.  It's an embarrassment to embarrassments.  I was going to make polls, but I don't think they're appropriate, because the polls would be too spoiler filled.  So, you'll just have to give me any thoughts you have about this in the comments section.  I can't believe this post became this long.  I'm sorry.  Thanks for reading.

Friday, August 12, 2011

What I'm Watching Now #6 (August 12, 2011 Edition)

I got a few page views last week, so you could imagine my surprise.  These days, this feature is practically my whole blog, but, don't worry, the fall season starts soon, which means I'll be writing about all of the new shows that are coming on.  This feature will just end up being the place where you go to see what I don't want to write full blog posts about.

I had been thinking about adding something to this feature, for a few weeks, and I think I'm going to start doing it.  If there is a memorable quote from any episode, during the week, I will list it along with what I say about the show.  This is a good thing for shows like Burn Notice, that are nearly impossible to write about, other than saying, "It's good. Y'all watch now, ya hear?"  Some shows won't have a quote, and that's quite all right, since it's just for the memorable stuff, anyway.  You can feel free to add your own entertaining quotes from each show, in the comments section, and if you give me a good one, I'll update the blog post, and put your name as the supplier.  Now, let's get on to what I'm watching now.

Ratings Legend:

*Don't waste your time
**Some people may like it, but overall, it's not going to change your life if you watch it or miss it.  Shows between 2 stars and 3 stars are on the line of watchable.
***Solid, watchable show.  If I give something 3 stars, I think you can safely watch it, and usually enjoy it.
****You should definitely watch this show, at least once.
*****Why are you not watching this show?

Mondays:

Alphas (Syfy, Check local listings)****
Most recent episode rating-****

I have bruises in my hair.-Gary

Gary was in the zone, this week, with all of the stuff he was saying.  I'm pretty sure he made nearly every main character laugh, in the episode, with the bizarre stuff he said.  On message boards, his character is loved or hated, and there is almost no in between.  I think he's one of the best characters on the show, and it's always fun to watch for what crazy thing he'll say next.

As for the episode, it didn't appear the Alpha was someone who will recur in future episodes, which may mean that the sides have officially been drawn, and now we're kind of watching a "Monster of the Week" type show.  I'll try not to spoil anything for this episode, so the most I'm willing to give you is that love is the most powerful drug there is, at least according to Alphas

The Closer (TNT, 9pm EDT)****
Most recent episode rating-***.5

I'm going to call this week's Monday line up, on TNT, "Dumb Down Monday".  Until this season, I always had watched The Closer rather passively, so that means that I never really noticed how unsophisticated the series really is.  The last couple of episodes have really seemed to insult the audience's intelligence.  In most cop shows, you don't basically make it really obvious what happened (or twists that are really obvious), and you typically go on the hunt with the Detectives.  However, with this series, all you basically have to do is watch the first scene with any character, and you'll be able to figure out the basic premise of what happened.  In the very first scene, I predicted that the church leader was wearing the women's clothes, and I guarantee you their goal was to make that a "shocking twist". 

Where the makers of this show really insulted us was with Brenda spilling red wine on a subpoena (I think) that her husband got, in regards to her bad deed from the end of last season.  The wine spilled over the word kill, and then she got wine all over her hands trying to clean it up.  I mean, really?  O noes, Brenda has blood on her hands, now. :/  I thought people stopped using this kind of 2nd grade symbolism in the 1940s.  That scene was really embarrassing, and makes me think this show really may be out to insult the audience every single week (or, at the very least, they think we're really stupid).

Clumsy criminals, story lines, and symbolism aside, this week's episode was still a good episode, but episodes like that one are why it is extremely clear this show never could have succeeded on network TV.

Rizzoli & Isles (TNT, 10pm EDT)****
Most recent episode rating-***

Maybe he's a zombie.  That's why he took a shower 6 hours later.-Rizzoli

Overall, this was a pretty good episode, with lots of good character interactions.  However, I'm giving it a one star downgrade, due to not being able to suspend my disbelief.  For some reason, the makers of this series thought it would be a good idea to have two Boston based Major League Baseball teams.  Then, they decided that they would take it one step further, by saying that the fake team was about to make it into the playoffs, and could finally push the Sawx out of the way.  For some reason, these lines from Ferris Bueller's Day Off came into my head, after writing that:

Ferris:  Do you speak English?
Valet:  What country do you think this is?

Again, in keeping with the theme of "Dumb Down Monday", it was super easy to figure out who the killer was.  I watch a lot of cop shows, and I like to give them the benefit of the doubt, and try to challenge myself for who the perp could be, but alas, I'm learning this show is not supposed to be about the cases.  Didn't I say that the last two weeks?  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, this show is shot in L.A., but takes place in Boston.  The Boston team they focused on this week, wore blue and white uniforms.  This is a story that "could" take place in L.A. with the whole Angels/Dodgers thing, but anyone who has ever seen Boston, heard of Boston, or lived in Boston would see that the whole premise of two Major League Baseball teams was ridiculous.  Still, don't let that stupidity deter you from watching Rizzoli & Isles, as it's a fairly witty, and usually entertaining series.

The Big C (Showtime, 10:30pm EDT)***
Most recent episode rating-**.5

Still not feeling this series, anymore.  Every show revolves WAY too much around sex.  If it's not talking about it, it's putting the viewer in strange situations.  There's not a single character on the show I want to see have sex, much less hear them talk about it, so please effing stop, please!  Based on next week's promo, it's clear that nothing will change, in that regard.  I'm still watching, but it's back on the clock of destruction, again.

Tuesdays:

Memphis Beat (TNT, 9pm EDT)***.5
Most recent episode rating-***.5

Now maybe I'm just an ex-con, wannabe lawyer, who's taken the bar six times.  But, you know what I call that? Reasonable doubt.-Dominic

Just writing that line in a relatively serious cop show took a lot of guts, so due to that, and a few other factors, I think it's time for a ratings upgrade for Memphis BeatI'm invested in the show, now, minus the sangin'.  I really do love every character on the show (Dwight is bland, but everyone else is great).  The funny thing is that watching this series is what made me realize how unsophisticated The Closer is.  I don't think anyone involved with this series would say they are trying to make groundbreaking television.  They just want to give you cases with interesting resolutions, with characters you can relate to, in some way.  I said it before, and I'll say it again, this series is a partnership/duo cop show, and that genre is basically obsolete.  However, the more I watch it, the more I realize it's a partnership/duo AND character interaction show.  There are usually two stories going on, one that revolves around the police station (or someone in it), and a case.  It's kind of an interesting hybrid, and I don't think I've watched anything quite like it.

This week's episode centered on a storm that caused the police department to be evacuated, and Whitehead going to the reading of a will, with Dwight.  Both scenarios turned out to not be what they seemed on the surface.  One person was left locked in a cell, at the police station, and he has no memory of who he is.  The will reading turns into the game (movie?), Clue, with a good old fashioned whodunit?  The level of writing sophistication in the crime is much, much higher than in The Closer, and this has been the case in nearly every episode I have seen of Memphis Beat.  The makers clearly want you to solve the crime with our heroes, as opposed to before our heroes, like many other shows do.  I do believe I'm beginning to become attached to this series.  Thanks, Chris P., I never would have checked it out without your recommendation.

HawthoRNe (TNT, 10pm EDT)**
Most recent episode rating-**

I really think this series is like stabbing yourself, but feeling no pain.  You stab yourself to die, but you live, with no pain.  You beg it to work, but it doesn't.  It just kills you, a little each day, slowly, and painlessly.  If you read my post I wrote about HawthoRNe, yesterday (I know you didn't), you would know that I thought this week's episode was the season finale.  I was wrong, and they are wrong, the whole world is wrong.  Now, I will be stuck watching the season finale one week from now.  I've included a poll for what you think will happen in the season finale.  If you don't mind spoilers, PLEASE read my blog post I wrote about the last few episodes of the series.  I think it's very entertaining, if I do say so myself. ;)

Wednesdays:

Necessary Roughness (USA, 10pm EDT)**
Most recent episode-**

I have downgraded the rating of Necessary Roughness, once again.  This show is doing absolutely nothing for me, anymore, and I am already planning an exit strategy.  As of today, I will watch the rest of the season, and then give the first episode of season 2 a shot.  If it's still the same old boring, bland, show, that's it, you are the weakest link, goodbye.  I'd really like to know what anyone else out there, who watches the show, thinks, and if this show is doing anything for them.  It's still got pretty good ratings, so if it doesn't get picked up for a second season, I would be really surprised.

State of Georgia (ABC Family, 8:30pm EDT)*.5
Most recent episode-*

:/

Thursdays:

Burn Notice (USA, 9pm EDT)*****
Most recent episode rating-*****

This is all I'm writing about the show.  If it doesn't make you watch it, you're hopeless.

Michael Westen:  Bravo. That was compelling, and rich. One of two things is possible.  Either Jackson ripped you off, and we caught him red handed.  
Mercenary Guy:  Or?
Michael Westen:  You let a mysterious super genius take over your island, turn your op inside out, and detain your commander's men. Which is more likely?

Suits (USA, 10pm EDT)****
Most recent episode rating-****

I'll just start out by saying that Suits has been renewed for a 16 episode second season (that news came out yesterday).  That's great news, as it's quite an excellent show, with very good ratings.  They FINALLY dealt with the lawyer problem on this episode, and it shouldn't ever really be an issue, again.  It was the elephant in the room, and was really beginning to take away from what is actually a really good and fun lawyer show.  It doesn't really explain the fundamental problem that other people should know that Mike's a fake (Jessica, anyone???).  However, it was dealt with smoothly enough that the series can now officially table the "danger of exposure" aspect that has been a major undercurrent through well over half of the episodes.  At a certain point in this episode, it looked like USA was writing Louis out of the show, but they managed to clean it up to where this is not likely to happen.

I think my favorite character on this show is Donna.  Sarah Rafferty is a very gifted actor, with exceptional comic timing (though heavily edited, usually).  Her interactions with Louis are probably some of the best things I have seen on TV, in quite awhile.  She's a classic character, who is sure to gain a cult following. 

I was glad the series was able to get back on the rails, after the near derailment of last week's episode.  I said I would give it a pass, and I'm glad I did.  I thought it was a damn fine episode.

It's a shorter list of what I'm watching now, as things are beginning to wind down for the summer seasons.  It's been a great summer for scripted TV watching, and if you haven't been watching some of these shows, you're truly missing some good stuff.  Thanks for reading.


Thursday, August 11, 2011

I Don't Know What I'm More Disappointed With, The Fact That I Am Watching HawthoRNe AND Thought That Last Night Was The Season Finale, Or That Last Night Was Not The Season Finale... :/ (A Facebook Status)

Every once in awhile, something entertaining may come out of me talking about a show in one of my facebook statuses.  Sadly (happily?), this was the case yesterday, and this blog post is what happened when I was asked to summarize the last few episodes of the TV series HawthoRNe for my friend Magalie N., since she hadn't been able to watch them.  I will be doing small editing, and some of the writing is a bit saucy, but this is basically how it appeared in the comments below my status.  Hopefully, someone else will find it enjoyable.  It's also a great primer for leading you into the season finale, next week, which I am sure you're dying to (not) watch.  This blog post contains nothing but spoilers, so if you haven't seen the last three episodes, and don't want them spoiled (they do a great job of that on their own anyway), don't read this blog post.  

Okay, here's what happened in the last three episodes. If you don't want to know, just stop reading here.
 

The beginning of three episodes ago was two different couples (Camille and Derek Luke, and Christina and Tom) telling each other that they loved each other.  If you know anything about the series, you know that was b.s.  Christina ends up telling Tom that she boinked J-Lo's man (of course she didn't tell him that it was in public, outside a house where it is unclear if there are still people inside, not to mention the bed ridden mother inside). So, naturally this makes Tom very angry, so angry, that he puts a gun to Nick's head and says that he will kill him if he ever comes near Christina again (he didn't say anything about inside though, sorry sorry sorry couldn't resist). Then, somehow, while Derek Luke is professing his love for Camille, she eventually realizes that it's not right for her to be with him, and she tells him he needs to go back to that crazy chick Lisa Raye, who slapped the s**t out of her. Of course, Tom can't get past the fact that Christina had sex with a guy that short, so he leaves and apparently their marriage is shot. Can I just tell you how unbelievable it is that a DOCTOR would THREATEN a COP (psycho creep cop, even) with a GUN? So, as I said at the beginning of the paragraph, the two couples profess their love, and by the end, we can tell they are totally out of love, or it's a martyr type love or something.
 

The episode from last week (August 2, 2011) was Tom telling Christina he wanted a divorce and Jada getting on the couch (no, not the casting couch, a psychologist's couch), and spilling about all of her numerous Mommy and Daddy issues, her lack of protection from Tom, and how she blamed him for her attack because he wasn't "there" for her, even though he was on the phone with her when the attack happened (I'm not buying he had service in the elevator he was "trapped" in). At the beginning of the show, she has a *dream* that she is in a straitjacket, and somehow manages to escape by throwing down a bunch of Matrix s**t on people, and breaking out of her straitjacket.  She proceeds to run out the front door of the hospital and is run over by a car (presumably by Nick), and wakes up. The dreams she has are generally more believable than the entire plots for the shows.  In the "therapy" session, we are treated to Jada having no idea how to act, and the Director having no clue how to direct her properly.  At the very beginning of the session, Christina tells the therapist that she didn't think it was possible, but she is in love with two people at the same time.  If what she has for Tom and Nick is love, then she is clearly a very effed up person.  It hasn't looked like she has ever loved either of them, but has used each one for a purpose, or has gotten with them because of a set of circumstances.  Long story short, it looks like by the end of the therapy session she wants to get back with Tom (I think).  Of course, when she gets home, he hands her divorce papers, they get on the floor and get nasty, he rips the divorce papers up, and then they have a threesome with Nick (I'll let you figure out which parts of that last sentence are true and false, since nothing in that sentence would seem out of the ordinary in this series).  Oh, and don't worry, there are still plenty of scenes where Nick acts like a psycho stalker creep (because he is).
 

In this week's episode, which I thought was the season finale, but wasn't, all kinds of things happened. Christina starts out the episode appearing to "get all her affairs in order" (you know like what people who commit suicide do), and drops off the divorce papers to Tom, and writes a letter to Nick, that she drops off at the police station.  Then, she gets on a plane, and while she is on the plane, putting her bag in the overhead bin, Nick calls, and tells Christina that her Mother-in-law is dead (Nick's Mom).  He's that delusional, and thinks they are really married now.  She gets off the plane, and sets in motion a chain of events to try to get the letter she wrote him back, since she was going to see Nick in person now.  Then we find out that the British surgeon guy's Dad is terminal, as well, and he dies.  Even though Nick's Mom is now dead, he takes every opportunity to try to pin Christina to a wall (if you get what I mean), and is rebuffed at every opportunity (being told things like you're at your mom's funeral, your mom just died, you're a weirdo, etc.).  Then, at some point during the episode, some really huge scary looking guy shows up at the hospital, shakes Tom's hand in an elevator, and shows a ring similar to the one that Christina's attacker wore.  This creeps him out (and also makes the audience wonder about Tom's potential involvement in the attacker's death).  While Christina is with Nick, as they're walking up to his or his Mom's place, he notices that the door is ajar.  So, he tells Christina to stay there (does not work out so well).  After proving that he was supplied absolutely no police "technique" training on the series, Nick goes into a bedroom and sees the words AN EYE FOR AN EYE in what appears to be blood, on the wall, with the ring the attacker wore nailed to the wall.  Then, the big old creepy dude (I know, I know, there are a lot of creepy people on the show) shows up at the funeral for Nick's Mom, and shakes Nick's hand offering his condolences, and while shaking his hand shows him the attacker's ring on his finger.  A slight scuffle ensues, and it goes to the next scene where Nick tries to hump Christina in the kitchen.  If you looked at Christina's face, you would know she is really uncomfortable (or is it Jada that's uncomfortable? It's hard to say).  Nick tries to kiss her, and she's like, "You know what? You're scaring me. You've had your pants down all day trying to get some loving, when your Mom just died."  Again, I'll let you decide which part of that exchange is accurate.  So, Christina takes out the letter she wrote to Nick, puts it on the table, tells him that everything is explained in the letter, and she leaves.  Then, the last scene is in montage, and has Tom looking at the divorce papers, Nick reading the letter, getting a really angry look on his face, ripping up the letter, pulling out a gun and killing himself, and then Christina laying on grass somewhere smoking a joint (Again, I'll let you decide which parts are real).  And that's it.  I thought it was the season finale, the whole episode, and it didn't really wrap up anything.  Then, right after the last shot, a promo says, "On the season finale of HawthoRNe", and I was like daaaaaaaaaaaam, and that led me to write my status.
 

I hope you enjoyed this read.  It was almost as painful writing it as it was watching it, and I can't believe I remembered even this much.  Blocking this show out has been a clear failure...lol.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

What I'm Watching Now #5 (August 7, 2011 Edition)

Well, it comes as no surprise to me that last week's edition of this feature fell very flat.  You give the people what they "want" and then they turn away, once they get it.  I guess that's the chase or something.  However, once I was prodded in the direction of keeping the feature, you are now stuck with it.  You asked for it, so you're getting it.  Last week's edition had one click, so I'm not expecting much of anything for this one.  I try to put at least one piece of comic gold in each one of these, so maybe that will make you attempt to find it in each one.  That's enough whining, let's get to talking about what I'm watching now.

Ratings Legend:

*Don't waste your time
**Some people may like it, but overall, it's not going to change your life if you watch it or miss it.  Shows between 2 stars and 3 stars are on the line of watchable.
***Solid, watchable show.  If I give something 3 stars, I think you can safely watch it, and usually enjoy it.
****You should definitely watch this show, at least once.
*****Why are you not watching this show?

Mondays:

Alphas (Syfy, check local listings)****
Most recent episode rating-****

The sides continue to be formed on Alphas, and this week had quite a "shocking" turn of events.  In this week's episode, we found out who was pulling the strings behind the group that is on the other side (not Dr. Rosen's group) of the Alphas equation.  This episode is also beginning to give the idea that Gary's allegiance has the potential to change.  Stay tuned for this developing story.

The Closer (TNT, 9pm EDT)****
Most recent episode rating-****

Monday night on TNT was the child abduction block.  This story was pretty sick, and came off as a little bit unrealistic as a "revenge fantasy".  Usually, shows that tread this line have the person with the revenge fantasy realizing that what was dreamed of often doesn't have the same closure in reality.  The person who committed the crime showed no remorse, whatsoever, for what he did, and it was out of nothing more than petty revenge against a person who had turned his life upside down.  For a more realistic and better telling of a story like this, you should watch the Law & Order: Criminal Intent episode "Consumed". 

The most interesting thing about this episode is that the case actually began to make Brenda find a conscience in regards to her terrible misdeed from last season's finale.  What she did had similar motives to what the killer in the case had.  Things are starting to take shape for how Brenda will exit Major Crimes, and I think it will potentially end in a prison sentence, or her conscience eating her alive.  Those are my initial guesses, though I reserve the right to change my mind upon seeing more of the story arc.

Rizzoli & Isles (TNT, 10pm EDT)****
Most recent episode rating-**

If you read my last edition of this feature, you will know that I said the reason this show works is because of the relationships and character interactions.  However, no one read that, so I'll say it again.  This show works because of the relationships and character interactions, NOT because of the cases.  For the second part of the TNT child abduction block, the show focused on a case.  There was almost no humor in the episode, and character interactions were kept to a minimum.  When the show is like this, it's like any million and one police procedurals I have seen.  If you missed the episode, you didn't really miss anything, and if you saw it, I hope you were disappointed.  It looks like humor will be making a return in next week's episode, and I hope this is where every episode goes in the future.  Please stay away from making the case the major focus of the show.  That is NOT why it works.  K thx bye.

The Big C (Showtime, 10:30pm EDT)***
Most recent episode rating-***

This wasn't a bad episode, but I am just not feeling any of the characters in this show, anymore.  I have no connection to anyone, and there are so many bad sides to each character, that they aren't even fun to watch, anymore.  The series tries to show us that there is a dark side to everyone, but a lot of that is just clumsy, and I'm really sad that these characters, who I used to care about, have become so one dimensional.  That's just my opinion.  I just have never become this involved with characters, on a TV show, and ended up so disappointed with their character arcs.  I do have to admit that with the way the parents act, in the show, it's no wonder the son is so messed up.  At least they got that right.

Tuesdays:

Memphis Beat (TNT, 9pm EDT)***
Most recent episode rating-****

That was the best episode I've seen of this show.  It was a great case, with a lot of convolution.  That was a very tight detective show.  I enjoyed it a whole lot.  As a joke, in every episode, I always look at the wealth of Memphis stock footage in the establishing shots.  I always say, "Memphis, Memphis, Memphis, Memphis, New Orleans".  In case you don't get what I mean, this show is apparently shot in New Orleans, but thinks the best way to fake Memphis is to put a bunch of stock footage shots in the show.  I've never been to Memphis, so I guess I have to give it a pass.  I still think it's very humorous how many of these shots they put in every show.  My only negative comment about the show is that I really, really wish they would cut out the dang sangin'.  Please cut out the sangin'...PLEASE. 

HawthoRNe (TNT, 10pm EDT)**
Most recent episode rating-**

Christina Hawthorne goes to therapy!  These scenes really showed the shortcomings of Jada's acting skills.  Based on the words that were said, she was angry when she should have been resigned, resigned, when she should have been angry, uncomfortable (like creepy smiles) when she should have been distant.  This is more about bad directing than bad acting, but it's clear that Jada really doesn't identify with the character she's playing.  Forcing her to show the level of emotions she did, just really didn't work for how Jada plays the character as a giant superwoman.  If there's one thing we learned in this episode, it's that Christina Hawthorne has MAJOR daddy issues.  Her blame for her attack is extremely misplaced, and the feelings she has for psycho creep Nick make no sense, and are solely out of what she *thinks* he did for her.  See what I said above about revenge fantasies.  HawhtoRNe did it completely wrong.  Her emotions aren't real for what happened, and I feel it was more deficiencies in the acting, and direction of Jada, than the actual story.  I'm pretty sure this next episode is going to be the last episode of the season, and probably the series.  I do not expect Christina to survive the final episode of the season.  I've written too much on this episode, already, so now you'll just have to see what happens.  If you've watched one episode of this show, I know you've watched others.  Even as depressed as I am to be watching this STUPID hyperdrama, I'm still effing watching.

Wednesdays:

Franklin & Bash (TNT, 9pm EDT)****
Most recent episode-****

It sure looked like the whole series was getting blown up in the last episode.  It looked like F&B were being set up to fail intentionally, that Infeld was going up the river, that Hanna was being pulled away to New York, and that Carp was going to get his opportunity to be a Judge, provided he played his cards right.  There also looked like there would be a new replacement for Infeld.  But, as is the usual case with Franklin & Bash, everything was cleaned up quite neatly.  It was a fitting end for the season, and I will miss that I'm not going to get to see this show again for about a year.  I went in with extraordinarily low expectations, and came out with one of the most pleasant surprises I've had on TV in quite awhile.  You should be ashamed of yourself, if you've read any post I've made about the show, and still not taken the plunge into watching it.  Now, I will go cry myself to sleep for the fifth night in a row...

Necessary Roughness (USA, 10pm EDT)**.5
Most recent episode-**

The good news is that the kids were almost not featured at all.  The bad news is that the a-hole husband of Dani was featured.  Just the fact that this story line played out, at all, tells you how weak this series is.  The characters in this show are constantly played against how they're written, and I think the writers are in need of their own therapy, due to what they're doing to the show.  I doubt the show will get canceled, because it's pretty popular, and has just enough appeal going for it to get another season.  However, I stand by my assessment that this is just very average TV, with only a couple of bright spots.  The Dani and Nico characters are still the only true appeal of the show, but on a show with a lot of revolving characters, that is not enough to make a good show.

State of Georgia (ABC Family, 8:30pm EDT)*
Most recent episode rating-***** 

Don't let those stars fool you for the most recent episode.  Four aired, and that's the combined star score.  Only the first episode got two stars, the other three got one star each.  These are all airing way out of order, and it's no secret why.  The episodes with one star were terrible, and completely unfunny.  As for the other episode, I knew it was only a matter of time before Raven did P.W.O.R.N.  No, seriously, you have to say it out loud, because it sounds like PORN.  The episode with two stars features the P.W.O.R.N. story line, and was the closest thing this series has been to a Three's Company type misunderstanding.  It was clumsy, but it had some pretty funny moments.  They absolutely could not resist having at least a dozen jokes about P.W.O.R.N. (Poor Women's Out Reach Network).  Some of them were pretty funny.  After that episode, the other ones would make your bathroom stink.  In the unlikely event this series gets picked up for a second season, I will only watch the first episode of the second season to see what Raven looks like.  However, I don't think thinking that far in advance matters, because this show is D.O.A. in regards to ratings.

Thursdays:

Burn Notice (USA, 9pm EDT)*****
Most recent episode-*****

The best scene in this episode, by far, was the scene where the Michael Westen impersonator left a voicemail for someone.  It was hysterical.  Scenes like that scene give the show 5 stars, even if the rest of the show was only 4 star worthy.  Use humor well, and you can get a higher rating from me.

Suits (USA, 10pm EDT)****
Most recent episode-***

Okay, this series ran into a major problem in this episode.  The first problem is that it felt like a season finale.  There was a lot of stuff going on in it, and a lot of it was bad.  Everyone who watches this show knows that this show is at its best when Mike and Harvey are working together.  That didn't really happen in this episode, and Mike's skill set is being questioned.  A logical conclusion to the season could be Mike Ross just walking away from the job.  Sure it would solve the fake lawyer issue, but it absolutely would kill the show.  I'm already guaranteeing a second season for this series, but we could end up seeing a re-tooling that could end up being as significant as the one currently going on for Fairly Legal.  I've enjoyed nearly every episode in the series, so I'm giving this one a pass.  However, I would strongly suggest staying away from these kinds of story lines.  They are problematic on a lot of levels.  We already know Mike is a young Harvey, and that Mike is just making all the same mistakes Harvey did when he started out.  The fact that Harvey acts like they're not as similar as they are is problematic for the show.  That act gets a little tired, after awhile.  It's clear there's a lot more to the Harvey character than shows on the surface, and I wish they would just stop with the one dimensional Harvey beats down Mike Ross scenes.  They're not necessary anymore.  That's Louis's job.

That's it for the week, I hope a tree falls in the forest AND people hear it (see it?).  I guess we'll see.  Thanks for reading. 

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